They carried the sky...

Monday Memo: Thoughts on building and the responsibility of leading.

Within the bookshelf in my den, wedged between other fiction, is a book whose images are seared into my memory. It is a collection of short stories about men who served in Vietnam and the things they carried in war, some to their deaths, and those who survived — what they carried back home.

“They carried the sky. The whole atmosphere, they carried it, the humidity, the monsoons, the stink of fungus and decay, all of it, they carried gravity.”

- The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien

“They carried gravity.” Man, what a line. Haunting imagery stuck at the end of a sentence, dripping with texture. You can feel the words — it is a tangible sentence.

I’ve been thinking about this book lately as I’ve begun pursuing this idea I’ve carried for four years. I can sometimes pan out from the day-to-day minutiae and get philosophical about my work. It is a visualization practice that helps me see myself within the decision tree to ensure I see the whole picture and that my decisions carry me to the end goal I envision for myself, my family, and my business. This Monday Memo is a glimpse into that process.

Sam carries a phone, a perpetual fidget device that masks boredom with the action of endless scrolling. He carries a satchel with his Apple MacBook and charger, which weighs 3.3 pounds, and G2 pens filled with navy ink in the side pocket. He carries a second phone for testing the Android version of apps the team builds. Sam carries his anxiety, the trauma from his past, and memories from the scars on his wrist, shoulder, and upper chest. He carries the responsibility for his mom after the passing of his father.

He still carries his 54.4-pound youngest daughter up the stairs to her bed when she falls asleep during Family Movie Night. He carries books he means to read and receipts from today’s lunch salad. He carries hope for the future and a journal full of sketches, app wireframes, and manic scribbles from 3 am wakeups.

We carry things into our endeavors; even the minimalists have something in their pockets. We carry items to help us be productive, to help us create, to distract us, and to soothe us. As builders and creators, we carry a menagerie of things to help us manifest our imagination.

Some of the things we carry are seen and meant to define us. It is intended to assert an identity in a world of uniformity. Some of the things we carry are hidden but given away in our eyes after a long day when our guard is down, and our pupils become portals to our souls. Some of the things we carry are hidden even to us, repressed to the point of self-ignorance.

The things we carry are crucial to carrying on, yet if unused, they are irrelevant at the finish. What we carry can be helpful and yet a burden.

”As first lieutenant and platoon leader, Jimmy Cross carried a compass, maps, code books, binoculars, and a .45-caliber pistol that weighed 2.9 pounds fully loaded. He carried a strobe light and the responsibility for the lives of his men.”

”As a medic, Rat Kiley carried a canvas satchel filled with morphine and plasma and malaria tablets and surgical tape and comic books and all the things a medic must carry, including M&M’s for especially bad wounds, for a total weight of nearly 20 pounds.”

- Tim O’Brien, The Things They Carried

To be useful is to burden ourselves with the responsibility to our teammates, family, and friends.

To care is to carry.

And as I continue on this path toward a prototype and pilot program, I’m reminded of what has gotten me to this point. And I have begun asking myself — What do I need to carry into this next season, and what do I need to let go of?

Am I truthful with myself enough to drop the vanity and ego so that I might embrace the unknown of letting go? Can I pick up the right things and know when to use them? Can I find the confidence and put aside the arrogance? Can I carry myself with integrity when the proverbial shit hits the fan?

The only way to find out is to carry on, do the work, begin the journey, build the bridge, and take the next step!

Onward.

Sam

11/9/2023 @ 8:06pm